If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
