Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
