guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
