If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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