: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
