Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
