I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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