Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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