Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
