paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
