did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Girls should come with a carfax report
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
