if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
