Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You took a bar mat shot.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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