I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
