how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
