hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
