So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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