and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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