I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
