I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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