As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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