is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
