spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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