Plan B is the new Plan A
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
