i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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