This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize