Where did you get a picture of my penis
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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