I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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