Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
