Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
