Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my sisters under your porch take her home
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
