She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
