he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
