I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
