North Korea, Best Korea!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
