Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
