i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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