I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
