I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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