Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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