i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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