A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
