I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
do herpes really smell.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize