best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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