Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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