So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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