Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
