just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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