You can't motorboat a personality
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
