i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
