some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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