The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
