She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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