love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
