Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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