do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
