all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
