I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
