have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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