I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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